Some things I've been thinking about

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And not so much sharing. But then I remembered that I have a blog where I can write whatever I want, and, everyone knows that writing things done is the best way to process things. So here we go- a random rambling of my thoughts at the moment...

1. Life in NY next year- specifically religious/observance. Do I want to continue to not drive, not travel, not spend money, not use my computer and not use my phone next year? Why am I doing (or not doing as the case may be...) these things at all? Is it meaningful for me? Will I want to be able to go uptown to BJ for services or meet a friend for lunch or coffee? Can Shabbat be something else? How am I going to work this out? Who should I talk to? (suggestions...please)

1b. Kosher life- I love keeping kosher- it’s something that is such a part of my life that I can't imagine it any other way. But is it still going to be easy and meaningful there- should I just become (return to, really) a vegetarian- Am I healthier for eating meat?

2. If I'm really putting in all my effort- I feel as if I've become a tad complacent and lazy here- it takes me days (ok, weeks) to return emails and I am terrible about answering my phone- when I am suddenly faced with all of my family and friends having instant contact with me whenever they want- will I revert back to the old me? Can I say that I like not being immediately available to everyone whenever they want?

3. I have totally lost my passion for Social Action and Social Justice- last night at Joe's, I heard a teaching by my good friend David Segal who spoke on the ideas of "doing"- that it is so important for us to be doing things to change, improve and repair our world. Being a Jewish community leader means doing just that. Getting off our tushes and going out and doing things. He also passed out copies of one of my most favorite poems, "To be of Use."

"...I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest,
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who stand in line and haul in their places,
who are not parlor generals or field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out..."

So why am I not doing these things? Why I am in school for so long when i culd be helping people? How can I help people the best?

4. Being Alone- Since I got to Jerusalem in July, I have not really had to be alone- ever. There is always someone to talk to, get lunch with, walk home with...It is somewhat exhausting sometimes...and being alone is something I really used to like to do. Now I don't like it so much. But I'm working on it...if I decide to live alone next year; I'm going to have to get good at it.

5. I am a (pretty) good fundraiser I sent out 80 letters asking for sponsorship for the Ride4Reform bike ride I'm doing at the end of March. I've received over $1000 already from just 10% of the letters! And, I helped to raise 14,000 NIS from the Vagina Monologues. It’s a nice feeling knowing that I'm going to have to do this one day as a part of my job and that I kind of know the beginning of what I'm doing.

6. I can watch the same 6 movies and still be entertained. Notting Hill, Center Stage, Garden State, Love Actually, Best In Show, Almost Famous. I love 'em all.

7. I am really excited to go home. Not that I want to go home right now, but when it's time to go I'll be very sad, but I'll also be really excited to see my family and friends and be at camp and then be in New York. I think I'm ready for the next phase.

8. I am a grown up (sort of). I have been avoiding that word for some time, but given my recent birthday and entrance into my mid-twenties, I think I'm game. I may not have "grown up" yet, but I feel like one sometimes.

It is freezing here- something about Purim that causes contant rain and freezing temperature-- I am off have some lunch, study for Hazal and get ready for services tonight- Love to all!